Leonard Richardson

Alice's Adventures in the Whale is a generated novel created by Leonard Richardson. His script (accessible here for the code-savvy and adventurous) replaces all dialogue in one novel with dialogue from another — in this case, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Moby-Dick; or, The Whale. We present this excerpt for your enjoyment.




Advice from a Caterpillar


The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice. “I say, pull like god-dam,” said the Caterpillar.


This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, “There she slides, now! Hurrah for the white-ash breeze! Down with the Yarman! Sail over him!”


“Thou Bildad!” said the Caterpillar sternly. “Blast ye, Captain Bildad, if I had followed thy advice in these matters, I would afore now had a conscience to lug about that would be heavy enough to founder the largest ship that ever sailed round Cape Horn.”


“Do you see that mainmast there?” said Alice, “Well, that’s the figure one; now take all the hoops in the Pequod’s hold, and string along in a row with that mast, for oughts, do you see; well, that wouldn’t begin to be Fedallah’s age. Nor all the coopers in creation couldn’t show hoops enough to make oughts enough.”