The Diesel House Orphanage and Laundromat Orphanites were not burdened with that one privilege that the average spoiled suburban kid agonizes over, particularly when they reach their late teens and early twenties: choice. More specifically: career choice. While most of their peers were bobbling their ways through post-secondary schooling, jobs, sexual partners, and just what to do with one’s life, Deborah and Lawrence and most of the Diesel House Orphanites didn’t even consider that they had much of a choice; they would land on the career that first occurred to them.

Deborah, for her love of animals, started to work at the local animal shelter. Over the years she impressed animals and humans alike due to her acute attention to animalian detail and began to garner more and more responsibility at the shelter. Deborah, at the time of our story, was acting manager of Rodent, Aquatic, and Airborne pet divisions of Lost Pets Anonymous Pet Supply and Breedhouse. Lawrence, on the other hand, stumbled upon his career a little more fatefully. Upon release from Diesel House, he was immediately splashed by a dirty puddle launched from under the wheels of a roaring school bus. The kids screamed and laughed at the sight of a soaking wet Lawrence. The jubilant mood of the children on their field trip resonated with him. He wiped his eyes, swallowed the diesel-tinged water, and said, “Wow. A school truck. I wonder where those kids are going.” The only way to know would be to take them there himself. As soon as he dried off he applied to school bus driver school.

Chapter Two: Lawrence Fountaingale Fills Out His Form Incorrectly

When Lawrence Fountaingale was in School Bus Driver School, he filled out the following form incorrectly: